Blog | DEIDRE WOLMARANS - Part 3
Deidre Wolmarans Strategic Consultant • Business Analyst • UX/UI Designer • Award Winning Young Leader • Internationally Recognised Entrepreneur
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Envious, ambitious, or just a plain narcissist.

01 August, 2024 Business, Leadership, Reflections

Living in the era of constant comparison has given rise to a prevalent issue – career envy.
Someone else gets that promotion, someone else is given that new role, someone else is being mentored – but not you.

How does this make you feel?

When this resentment becomes pervasive, it can detrimentally impact both professional and personal aspects of life, as noted by Dr. Patrick Wanis.

Envy, often termed as the “ulcer of the soul” by Socrates, is a complex emotion, distinct from jealousy. Shakespeare called it the “green-eyed monster. Envy is one of the Seven Deadly Sins.

Career envy not only corrodes your mental well-being but can also serve as a breeding ground for the emergence of narcissistic tendencies. Perpetual self-inflicting envy, where you constantly perceive others as superior, may contribute to the development of narcissistic traits.

The insatiable need to outshine others at any cost can blur ethical boundaries and foster an unhealthy sense of entitlement. And that line between healthy ambition and destructive narcissism becomes dangerously thin.

This overdrive towards success, if not evaluated and reflected on, can morph into an unhealthy obsession and a compromised sense of fulfillment.

While ambition is a powerful driving force, it must also be evaluated to ensure it remains in a healthy state.

So, envy, is predominantly about comparison, with three identified types:

  • Malicious Envy:An unhealthy form of envy that leads to resentment, pushing individuals to undermine or prevent others from achieving success or possessing desirable traits. This is the scary one.
  • Self-Inflicting Envy:Involves perceiving others as superior, whether in possessions or achievements, reinforcing personal insecurities and fostering feelings of inadequacy. This is the sad one.
  • Benign Envy:A positive form of envy that serves as motivation for personal growth and improvement. It inspires individuals to strive for success rather than harboring resentment. This is the one you should rather try be.

Despite its presence, the stigma surrounding envy often results in individuals suppressing their feelings. To target this, and transform envy into motivation requires strategic approaches:

  • Cease the Comparisons:Break the habit of incessant comparison. Redirect that energy from envy into self-improvement, skill enhancement, or further education. Rather, learn a new skill, do a course, or improve on something.
  • Reassess your Values:Reflect on personal values and aspirations. Authenticity is crucial in acknowledging your desires and working towards them without succumbing to envy. Are you being realistic?
  • Get a Career Plan: Instead of dwelling on missed opportunities, think about the opportunities may never get because you didn’t plan for it. Channel envy into proactive planning. Consider the long-term goals and strategise.
  • Do Self-Assessment: Maintain a realistic perspective on personal progress. Regularly assess your own journey, focusing on self-improvement rather than fixating on the achievements of others.

Ultimately, taking charge of your career is your own responsibility. By shifting the focus inward and concentrating on personal growth, one can overcome career envy and pave the way for a more fulfilling professional journey.

So you start focusing more on yourself and less on other people to make things happen.

If you relate, I hope this helps.

D